


Don't Spill The Kriffing Caf!

by Kathendale, Ren (Kathendale)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Angst, Ben is a big child, Chewbacca's name is Chester, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff & Angst, Following in widdlewed's footsteps by making a coffee shop au, Hes the best boi, I was drinking coffee when I thought of this, IDK how long this fic will be, It might have plot eventually, M/M, Pouty Ben, Pure Crack, TADA!, This is a coffee shop au!, bb8 is a corgi, because, lol, lol anything can happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22086439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathendale/pseuds/Kathendale, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathendale/pseuds/Ren
Summary: When Han Solo was fifteen, his father told him he could do anything he wants. He just had to work hard to get it. So, being himself, Han created a coffee shop called “The Resistance” just to spite a big corporation  by taking their employees, named “The First Order.” Thirty years later, his son betrays the family name by going to work for The First Order. Drama ensues when they hire a girl who has no relation to anyone already working there.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (past), Armitage Hux/Dopheld Mitaka, BB-8 & Poe Dameron & Finn, Chewbacca & Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Dopheld Mitaka & Ben Solo, Finn & Rose Tico, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Job Interview At 6AM? Kriffing Hell!

Rey Niima lives in the center of Alderaan, a continent, in the city of Jakku. Rey does not go by her last name, seeing as her parents abandoned her to the foster system. 

Never having been adopted, Rey ended up being raised in a neglectful foster home. She didn’t even remember her foster parents’ names, they were so forgettable.

Rey ended up in a small house in the small town of Jakku after finishing her ‘sentence’ in the foster system known as the Hosnian Foster System.

Rey turned over, blinking. It was still dark outside. She turned her phone on. February fourth, 5:30 AM.

“Kriff!” Rey lunged upwards, fumbling for the light. “Kriff kriff,” she muttered under her breath, finding the clothes she’d laid out the day before.

She had a kriffing job interview at 6:20! And it took 30 minutes to get there! She ran to the bathroom, looking at her mess of hair. 

She jerked a brush through the messy brown length before tying it back into three buns. She proceeded to quickly brush her teeth, forgoing makeup and breakfast altogether.

She glanced at her phone. 5:43. “Kriff.” She hissed once again, and made her way to her car. When she tried to start it, it let out a pathetic little wheeze.

“KRIFF!” She shrieked, pulling up the Lyft app and ordering it. The driver was 3 minutes away. She looked at her phone again. 5:50. Just as she put her phone down, the Lyft pulled up.

She climbed into the backseat without looking up at the driver. “Can you get there as fast as possible please? I have a job interview.” She said frantically.

The driver weaved in and out through traffic. She pulled up a contact who’d texted her the time and date of the job interview. A man named Poe Dameron.

Rey: I’m so sorry, I may be five minutes late

Poe Dameron: that’s fine! We’ll be waiting for you

Rey: thank you so much for understanding

Poe Dameron: of course!

Rey put her phone down to see they’d arrived. She saw a man sitting at the counter with an employee’s outfit on, just putting his phone away. 

He looked to be hispanic, with curly brown hair. ‘That must be Poe Dameron.’ She thought to herself.

She made her way inside, the clock just striking 6:24. “Uh, hi?” She waved awkwardly, getting the man’s attention. “I’m here for the job interview?”

The man scrambled until he was standing up. “Yes! Hello, my name is Poe Dameron. I usually do the paperwork for The Resistance with my boyfriend, Finn.” He said, nodding to another man.

The man waved, and she waved back. Poe pulled out his phone, and opened the audio recording app before pausing.

“Is it alright if I record your interview? It makes listening back to things much easier.” Rey nodded. Poe smiled, relieved. “Alright, let’s begin.” He turned on the recording device.

“Please say your name, your age, and why you think you’d be a good fit for The Resistance Cafe as a worker.” Poe nodded to her, giving her the go ahead to say her answers.

“My name is Rey Nimma, though I prefer that you don’t use my last name when addressing me for personal reasons. I’m 19 and-”

“What the KRIFFING HELL? Why the KRIFF is a stranger being interviewed?” A man bellowed. Rey’s head whipped around, and Poe quietly paused the recording with a frazzled sigh.

A short woman with greying hair and a man walked out behind the huge person. “Ben, we thought you wouldn’t care-”

“My name is KYLO! How many times do I have to tell you that?” He snapped at the woman, and the man’s eyes hardened. “Do not talk to your mother that way.” 

‘Kylo’ rolled his eyes and stomped out of the shop, glaring at Rey as he walked by. The man ran a hand down his face with a deep sigh.

“Sorry about interrupting your job interview, Ms…?”

“Rey, my name is Rey. I prefer to not use my last name, if that’s alright.” The man gave a warm smile. “Of course, I’m Han Solo, this is my wife, Leia Organa.”

She shook both of their hands. “A pleasure to meet you both.” She said politely. Leia smiled. “I think she’ll fit right in, dear.” She said to Han, who nodded. “You’re hired.”

Poe spluttered in the background. “It took you nine kriffing months to decide to hire me!” He said, face red. His boyfriend stroked his back soothingly.

“That’s because you brought a dead rat from outside to the trash bin. They didn’t know if you could be trusted.”

“Hmmph.”

Rey already loved it here.


	2. A Bad Day For Ben (It’s Kylo! Not Ben) And A Day Of Fat Corgis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has a very bad, no good day. Rey meets BB-8 and is shown around the shop. Her work begins tomorrow.

Kylo was having a no good, very bad day. First, he had found out the hard way that his boyfriend, Armitage Hux, was sick with the flu, meaning he wouldn’t be going to work that day. Very unfortunate, no higher command to boss around and scare his subordinates. Yes, that’s sarcasm.

Two, his car broke down and he didn’t have the kriffing Lyft app. Of course, when he tried to download the app, he didn’t have any storage space left. Kriffing apps and their big amounts of data.

Kylo was forced to hoof it from his and Hux’s shared apartment to the office building at The First Order Industries. Of course, Phasma had been there with a quirked eyebrow and an infuriating smirk. “Late as always, commander.” She’d said sarcastically, grating on his nerves.

“Phasma, don’t today. Just don’t.” He growled. Phasma proceeded to ignore him. “Where’s fire crotch? The twink has been asking after him.” Phasma said casually. “Phasma, you can’t just call Mitaka a twink because you think he’s one.” Kylo said, massaging his temples.

Phasma looked unphased. “I’m just calling it how I see it.” She said smoothly. “I’m gonna text him. See how he’s doing.” Kylo looked at her. “Which one you texting, Mitaka or Hux?” He inquired. She smirked. “Fire crotch.” Kylo ignored her and his phone when it chimed. Of course she texted the fucking group chat instead of Hux directly.

**[Chat Name: Order Higher Ups]**

Phasma: fire crotch how you feeling

Armitage Hux: I told you to stop calling me that, Captain.

Phasma: stop using proper grmr its fucking annoying

Armitage Hux: If it bothers you, I'll continue to do it.

Phasma: ugh

Kylo finally made it to his office and sat down. He looked at the clock. He was twenty minutes late. He proceeded to fist his hand in his hair with an exasperated sigh.

“Stay back you fucking scum!” Came a screech. Mitaka. Most likely shouting at one of Kylo’s personal assistants who insisted upon being called ‘Knights of Ren.’ It was the tallest of them that came to his room, the one named Brendon.

“Sir, Mitaka spilled the mopping water all over the floor when Eira accidentally scared him.” He said, voice monotone. Kylo let out another frustrated sigh. Could this day get much worse?

“And do, pray tell, why he isn’t just cleaning the mess up?” He snapped at Brendon. The tall man shrugged and Kylo groaned. “This has been a no good, very bad day. And it was only 6:40 in the kriffing morning.

Kylo walked out of his office to find an intense staredown going on between Eira and Mitaka. Eira eventually broke the stare to turn towards Kylo, and Mitaka made a noise of smug victory.

Kylo made his way down the hall. “Clean that up, please, Mitaka?” He shouted. He had a meeting to go to with Snoke.

<->

Rey stared in shock. It was her first day working as an assistant to see how she would fit in. And there was a kriffing Corgi in the establishment. “Kriff!” She hissed. “How did you get here?” She tried shooing away the fat little orange and white Corgi, but it didn’t budge.

She took a moment to look at the little ball of fluff over. It was mostly white save for some orange patterns in circles on its back. It only had one black eye, she realized. Suddenly, a voice called out behind here. “BB-8, are you bothering Rey?” The fat little thing let out an excited bark and ran over to the person.

Of course it was fucking Poe Dameron’s dog. “Poe, is it really a good idea to have BB-8 here?” Finn fretted from behind. “Oh, I’m sure it’s fine. She’d understand.” At that moment, Han walked out of the kitchen and did a double take. “Why the kriffing hell is there a dog in my store?” He screeched.

“Get out, shoo.” He ordered the dog, only for Poe to scoop him up. “Fine, I’ll take him home.” He grumbled, eyeing Han nastily and sticking his tongue out. Han let out an exasperated sigh when suddenly, the hulk of a man came storming through the door again. Ben. (Or was it Kylo?)

“Ben, why are you here, it’s not even noon-”

“My name is Kylo!” He hollered, before slamming the door to the residential area of the building that Han and Leia lived in. Rey could hear the faint sounds of arguing but eventually tuned it out. Finn showed her around the kitchen, showing her where certain things were.

She eventually left the store at two in the afternoon, with promise for her to start work the next day at seven forty five o’clock.


End file.
